We had a hard night

Lately I've been thinking that I probably need to start getting Riley to sleep in his room. We have not been getting much sleep lately because he has been waking up & wanting me to hold him or let him nurse. (Plus, I'm starting to think maybe it's just time for him to be in his room.) This usually happens about 2-3 times a night. I am exhausted because I am always awake for a while even after he has gone back to sleep. My mind is wide awake & races through things I need to do the next day or whatever I have going on. The last week or so, I have been trying not to let him nurse as much, instead just hold & comfort him until he goes back to sleep with a paci. It usually works at least once a night, but I really think he is getting hungry the other waking time. I talked with some of my friends who have babies around the same age as Riley. Their babies are all formula-fed & Riley gets both formula & breast milk. After talking with them, my first thought was that maybe my breast milk isn't as filling as formula & since I nurse him at his last feeding...maybe it's just not lasting him long enough through the night?? So, I started giving him formula at the last feeding. It seemed to work a little better, at least for a few nights. Then it was back to the usual. Yesterday I was talking to a co-worker with a baby 2 weeks older than Riley & she said that her baby eats 7 ounces with every bottle. I talked to another friend who said her baby eats 7-8 ounces each time. Riley only eats 4 ounces & if we are really lucky 5 when he gets a bottle. And more times than none, he only eats 3 ounces. When I'm nursing, obviously I don't know how much he's getting but it can't be much because he is done within 5 minutes or less. Their babies take 5 & 6 of those big bottles a day. Riley will only eat 4 of the small amounts. After hearing how much their babies were eating, I now feel like I'm starving my son. But it's not that we don't offer food, it's that he doesn't want it. He will drink a few ounces, then push the bottle or breast away & raise up. I try numerous times to get him to eat again/more, but he fusses & kicks & pushes it away. I've always heard to stop feeding when the baby gives you fullness cues. I would say these are pretty clear cues. So here's the question: how do I get him to eat more during the day so that he is not waking up hungry at night?

Here is how any given night at our house has been going lately:

Between 8:30 - 9:00: 'Last' feeding.

Between 9:00 - 9:30: Falls asleep.

Anywhere from 11:30 - 2:00: Wakes up, but usually goes back to sleep with a paci.

Anywhere from 4:30 - 5:30: Wakes up wanting to eat. After eating goes right back to sleep.

Anywhere from 7:00 - 8:30: Wakes up for the day.

When I put it in writing, it doesn't sound too terribly bad but in reality, it's rough. I just don't understand what happened to cause my baby, who once slept perfectly through the night when he was a newborn, to now wake up every night.

I researched the Ferber Method and decided I would give it a try last night to try & get Riley to sleep in his crib. I put him to bed at 9:30. Exactly 2 hours later at 11:30 on the dot, he's awake in his crib & crying. I wanted so badly to run in his room & grab him, but I knew I needed to wait. I held off as long as I could before going in there. When I finally did, I didn't pick him up. Just gave him his paci & rubbed his head to try & comfort him. That's where I messed up--by being in the room for longer than just a short period of time, but I just couldn't leave my screaming baby all alone. He got more upset that I wasn't picking him up & after another very lonnnng 5 minutes, I caved. I picked him up & tried desperately to calm him down. Didn't work. He actually got more upset. It was like he got his feelings hurt that I left him crying for so long & now he was mad at me or something. Luckily, my mom was at our house & she took over to try & console him because after a certain point, he was wanting to nurse to go back to sleep. I knew he couldn't be hungry already so I let her take over thinking maybe it would take his mind off of nursing. I tried to take full advantage of my mom's help & go back to bed, but of course I couldn't sleep. I mean, how could I with my baby so upset? I laid in my bed with tears rolling down my checks while listening to him. It took another good 30 minutes before he finally fell asleep. My mom put him back in his crib & he slept until about 2:00, then he woke up crying. I thought about letting him cry it out again, but figured one long time of him being that upset on the first night is enough. I held him & put him in his pack & play back in our room. Then around 4:30 he woke up again. We was acting hungry this time so I fed him & put him back down in our room. He slept until 7:15 this morning.

I'm sure anyone who has ever done the Ferber Method will agree that it is one of the hardest things ever to do. Everyone tells me that I will be so glad I did it, but I'm just really doubting myself & if I can actually go a night without caving in.

Ironically, a friend of mine posted this today. Thank you Rachel! I started reading Baby Wise towards the end of my pregnancy, but never actually finished it. Everything I did read, my brain did not retain. This blog is wonderful. I read through some of the 'Sleep Problems' & I think I found something else to try tonight. I found a post about night feeding & I think this solution may help. Instead of making him stop nursing cold turkey, I will only let him nurse for a short period of time & decrease the length of the feedings every time. Enough to eventually wean him off of the night feedings. Hopefully a combination of this weaning process & the Ferber Method, we can make some progress. Cross your fingers & say a little prayer for me please.